A: With larger and larger numbers of parents working outside the home, fewer and fewer children receive the eye-to-eye contact they desperately need and crave. While there is often an emphasis of ‘quality time’ put on the parent-child relationship in these highly active homes, few parents truly understand the value of slowing down enough to reach a relationship with their child that fosters loving eye contact. In fact, most children only receive eye-to-eye contact when being scolded, and most harried parents spend time explaining to their children how busy their lives are while not really seeing or hearing their child’s response of, “Why am I not as important?”

Simple and effective: Spend time looking deeply and lovingly into your child’s eyes whenever they speak to you. Not only is it important for your child to sense you saying, “I hear you and I love you,” but it resets your child’s mental clock. NOTE: If your mind wanders while your child is talking to you, it only continues to reset your child’s mental clock in the opposing direction.

Read to your child each day – at least one minute for each year of age. Then ask them for examples from the story that stand out as pleasing or intriguing. Ask about colors and illustrations and why they prefer one over another. In this way the child’s nerve endings (where colors, shapes, lines and even spaces compare and relate) build bridges well within the body of the brain that leads their mind to filter and connect life’s events calmly and with focus. Remember, listen attentively with as much eye contact as possible.

Touch your child’s palms often. Rub them, pat them, hold them, draw invisible pictures on them. Just make it a point to stimulate nerve endings on your child’s palms. The back of the brains of children with ADD and ADHD have nerve endings that reach well beyond their normal capacity putting them in the frame of mind of either drifting or jumping from one topic to the next. Touching their palms delivers an anatomy of the brain that deepens their concentration values as well as heightens their scheduling capacity to be on time.

Prepare to notice a significant difference in your child – as well as in your relationship with your child – as you take them through this restoration process. Children who have parents that look them in the eyes consistently and without fault are this nation’s greatest gift – just as they are for all nations. Believe that your child’s eyes are awaiting your eyes of compassion and a readjustment will take place that will reach deep into their homes – their souls – and they will delight in feeling that with you they ARE home!

Love and be loved,

LYNN SCOTT