A: If someone has an emotional affair and their spouse feels shut out or left behind, they have committed a sin against their spouse and it is identical to infidelity. But if their spouse has emotionally left them years before, the abandonment goes both ways. Always, however, this is a sin against the marriage for in neither case has the drifting partner spoken up or asked for forgiveness.

When someone has the need for another partner because their spouse is emotionally shut down and refuses to come back, then that person has to follow their heart and Jesus will assist them by helping them to feel for ‘their other half’ in The Light – the one who is their exact duplicate at that stage of life – and their marriage will be dissolved in The Light so that they can move forward.

But if they attempt to maintain their marriage AND the affair, they commit a deep and unyielding wound against themselves, God, their spouse, children, and the other person. Eventually, as the pressure becomes too much from lying and trying to be two people at the same time, it will drive them crazy. At a point certain this person’s psyche will break down. While many turn to alcohol, drugs or other self destructive behaviors, some release from themselves in the manner of a mental breakdown in order to numb their pain. In essence, they train their minds not to feel anyone else other than themselves deep, deep inside.

In almost every marriage one or both partners will feel abandoned at some point as the other seeks new interests. Because the world of love has incredible vistas to discover, each partner needs to be interested in all that the other partner seeks. But if one feels complacent about their spouse’s interests (is only indirectly involved via small talk), then the ground is set for an upheaval.

If ever you need more emotional intimacy from your spouse, take their hands and hold them tightly. Look them deeply in the eyes and tell them that you need them by your side in ALL that you do. Tell them that their presence in your life really matters. Allow them to know that you feel torn because of the emotional drift. Be direct and be firm. Tell them that you need them with all of your heart. It WILL make a difference!

Commit to putting your marriage in the hands in Jesus Christ, for if you allow him to lead your union, the sacred vows you took shall be strengthened and all your vistas shall shine. Your loving marriage will be blessed and endowed with all the riches of God’s love, forevermore!

Love and be loved,

LYNN SCOTT