A: Adolescents are not under the spell of disrespect at all. They hear it all the time in their mother’s or father’s voices, and at a certain point they opt to unleash it back. When kids are reprimanded respectfully - without outbursts of anger or chastising for their past behaviors – they feel the adult life they desire being modeled.

To relate to teenagers lovingly and respectfully, try these ideas and see how it returns itself to them as well as others:

• Speak with them of those things they recently did that make you proud.
• Tell them they are the source of tremendous potential.
• Take them out for walks and talks. It diffuses the air of anger if you walk while you talk.
• Listen to them inside. Let their words sink in before you reply. Show them that their words and sentiments matter.
• Drive your car calmly. No matter what other drivers do, their behavior should never deflect you from being a calm driver. It shows your kids that others are not in control of you.
• Stay centered daily by praying and let them see you do it. They will get used to the idea that you, too, surrender to a power greater than yourself and try to respectfully and lovingly abide by God’s wishes.
• Believe in them – no matter what – by continuing to pull for them when others might be ready to pull away. Get close to them when they misbehave, not distant. (Be open to their good behavior reaping closeness in NEW ways so it is constantly rewarded with ‘fresh flowers’!)

Try these ideas and share them with other parents if you find they help your kids, you, or both!

Love & Light,

LYNN SCOTT